Everything happy have ended and now I'm searching for a new happiness. Broke off. I'm quite sad and try to make things work out but it seems not working at all. I thought stuffs that I done could be enough to make her regain the feeling but in fact it backfired.
Whatever I did, hoping that she will at least feel touched or something but ended up it seems like it's making it worse.
Yesterday after a long run, it seems like things kinda have calm down in my heart but of course the emptiness would not go away just because of a run. I'm trying to get over with it and I know it takes time.
Always hoping that we would get back together but still I know in her heart there isnt any place for me anymore. She made it so clearly that she isnt going to come back to me and her peer are also objecting her getting back together with me.
Even though I know that if we were to get back together, things would have different but why isnt her and anyone trusting me? I know that I have broke her heart a number of times and I know that it's hard for her to trust me, but I still want her to trust me this last time. I know I'm selfish to make her trust me and let her have the pressure of being control again. However I just know that things would be different and better.
She just gave me the feeling that I want to protect her from now till the end. The first person that I ever fall so deeply with. The first person who gave me the feeling of patching back so badly. But still I know it's impossible.
Even though impossible I'm still insist of trying. How? Looking at all the blog post and stuffs really make me happy and how I wish we went back to how it use to be.
All the best to me and her. Although I cant forget but still I hope she's well. She's just a precious gem that I will never find it again. :'(
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